we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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