I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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