haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
