This girl is more easily done than said...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
