weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
