do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
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On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
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I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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