Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
