Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
