There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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