oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
