Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
