guys are only as good as the porn they watch
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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