Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize