You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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