well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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