i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
