he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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