Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
