Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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