How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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