Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
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Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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