Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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