I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
