Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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