4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
