did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
