Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
