I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
