There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
