That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
