P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
