remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
