shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
