Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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