She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
