I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
