Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
