Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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