I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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