I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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