we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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