He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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