Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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