ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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