she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize