is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize