Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My bed smells like the plague
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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