You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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