You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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