Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
