your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
