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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Def the best call fo sho

  (361): View more from Texas

  That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.

  Fav 39 5139 1004

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.

  Fav 27 1153 3106

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.

  Fav 79 7216 1428

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I find this completely acceptable.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

  Fav 5 1099 1951

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.

  Fav 3 1824 727

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.

  Fav 2 730 505

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.

  Fav 1 693 455

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• (818): View more from California

  ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?

  Fav 3 807 382

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me

  Fav 4 668 442

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me

  Fav 2 1054 420

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• (415): View more from California

  Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online

  Fav 2 53 16

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?

  Fav 1 58 14

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