we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
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I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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