you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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