i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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