She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
