I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
