We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
