Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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